To ride a commercial mower astride a one-wheeled platform being dragged through the grass by 20 horses is a thrill few people know. If we can find the backing, we'll contact ESPN and help them get 'Scaper Games to go national.

'Scaper Games is a landscaping competition not unlike those silly lumberjack challenges. But 'Scaper Games is more "Xtreme," which those ESPN programmers love these days. We are "grass-boarding," or "ground scrapin" at a fast clip, with sharp spinning blades under us. It's both dangerous and fun, and we really should be wearing helmets, pads, and gloves.

We're looking for someone with a big piece of land that needs mowing so we can rope it off and hold these games. When we're done - your big piece of land is gonna look real good.

When you join O.A.S.I.S., you get Free Admission into 'Scaper Games, a bi-annual landscaping challenge sponsored by OASIS. Compete against America's best 'scapers in events like Single and Dual Wheel Velke Slalom Mow Race, Berm Shaping, Swamp Whacking, Edge Challenge, Tree Shape Event and Blower Freestyle. This weekend event is the place to bring your skills to challenge others for great prizes and awards.

("It looks like Tony's gonna pull off the one handed Velke dismount and have his machine across the line in record time, Phil!" - "Yeah, Chuck, but look behind him. He's definitely gonna lose points for that divot he left at turn 4. That cake has been mangled and the judges just can't overlook that sort of thing.")